So I don't know how this happened.
Well I do know.
I just don't know how it's going my way.

Friday night was the Oxfam social at a campus night club. Met a boy there. His name is Wilson. He's a 4th year chemical engineering student and he is extremely attractive. I don't know if you guys know this, but engineering studets at this school are the equivalent to academic jocks. They are hot and badass, and this one was very sweet and was not trying to get too physical at the club. I think the most we touched was when we held hands to go to the bar where he asked for my number and bought me a drink.

We texted back and forth all day Monday, and today I took it upon myself (because I am bold and brave - rawr!) to ask him out. So we've confirmed dinner on Friday.

I don't know how this is working out for me. I'm a loser and a tard. I have a date with a cute 4th year chemical engineer... who is actually genuinely interested in getting to know me.

What is happenningggggg? D:

I just want to say that my mom called and said that the decorations are up and she bought 2 tiny Christmas trees to decorate by the fireplace (which we never light).

I'm extremely excited to go home to a decorated house. LOVE IT.

I like Christmas because it's no longer a religious holiday. I know some people still treat it as one, but I like that so many people of so many cultures can and do take part. I hate seeing people trying to make Christmas about Jesus again. I know it's his birthday (even though I think historically he was should have been born in like March or something?), but I don't see why people can't be happy in celebrating that this is a time of year and a day that people are just nice to each other, and charitable, and enjoy one another's company and give nice things to people who are special to them. Trying to make it all about Jesus again makes it more exclusive, and I wouldn't feel right celebrating it, even though the way we celebrate is to just come home, have a nice hot meal and decorate the house with lights and a tree.

I can't wait for Christmas. I'll see all my friends back home and my mom and my dad and Neal. :) Renata and I are going to catch up, we haven't seen each other since high school grad.

I'm trying, I really am. I went to the library for like 3 hours. I am burnt out from the midterm, I can't keep writing. All I want out of life now is to sleep and knit and maybe go work at Garage for a while because I like money.



I took that photo at Stauffer. I feel ya, brother.

My midterm is 20 pages on the dot. I hope this asshole enjoys reading it all. I get to hand it in in an hour. Until then, I'm updating my iPod and catching up on Victorian Lit readings.

After class, I get to start my Restoration and 18th Century Lit paper, due Monday.

Hey guys!
I don't think you've gotten an adequate update on my life in a while.
Not a whole lot has changed, really. I'm still living at the library. I left there last night at 1:30AM and the security guard scolded me for having my headphones in because I couldn't hear him telling me the door was locked. I was really close to telling him to fuck off. Seriously, I'm leaving the library at 1:30 in the morning, does he really think I give a shit?

I also found myself thinking something cynical the other day, and it made me incredibly happy. I didn't realize this, but when I was with Nik, he turned me into a big ball of love fluff. I miss being cynical.

But do you guys want to know the most hilarious thing ever?
Apparently there's a rumour going around that I sleep next to a dagger, and people just accept it. They didn't realize it was outrageous until I was shocked to hear it. They just thought "yeah, she would sleep next to a dagger."

Bahahahahaha!
I should start.

Anyway I'm still working on this paper. My prof for Atlantic history gave us a 3-essay midterm, which is a dick move. Midterms are either an essay or a test. Don't give us 3 essays when you fully know we have other classes. I have been spending too much time on this bullshit and I want it to end. I need to write a lot of other essays before the term is done (last day is December 4th - 2 weeks).

One forrr....
241 - restoration and 18th century lit
255 - victorian lit
245 - imperial russia
311 - middle english lit

Oh, and a 255 midterm. Because my life is a big bowl of cherries.

There's a new girl at work named Emily and we all hate her. She threatened to call human resources on my assitant manager, Sascha, because we were making brown jokes. She's white, what does she care? She's been a bitch to just about everyone who works there. Sascha wants to ride her until she's miserable here and quits. I like the idea. And I realize that we're both going to hell.

This made me want to go to Charity Ball even though I can't afford it. My friend Dave is the guy at the beginning. :)

seriously.
i've been in bed for like 3 days or something stupid like that. all i've had to eat in like 24 hours was cheese and crackers and it's because emily made me eat something before everyone went to bed. i'm trying to eat a granola bar. i spent all yesterday battling a fever. i was almost up to 40 C but i'm back down to just above 37.

i want to fucking get better. i'm missing class and work and i have a midterm on tuesday.

I spent a portion of last night throwing up and shaking in bed. I feel better today, except I have a cough and my head feels a bit funny (probably from sleeping all day). Took the day off, might take tomorrow off too.

Fuck my life, I have so much work to do too.

I slept in. And therefore lost the shower.
=/

I live with 4 girls and 1 boy. We're a polygamist cult, but we're also zombies. We bought 2nd hand wedding dresses that were absolutely horrific and ugly. Then we altered and shredded them until they look so good, none of us wants to smear blood on them.

I paid my Visa bill and rent.
Now I'm poor.

Ok, guys. I need to get this out without anyone raising an eyebrow about any deep rooted meaning or feelings. I just want to express this.

I talk to Nik every day now. It makes me incredibly happy, and in a mostly platonic way, I love this boy. I say "mostly platonic" because he was my first everything (except kiss). He is special to me in that way and I love him for it maybe in a weird and confusing way. But we're on our way to being really great friends and I am getting exactly what I wanted. He's in my life, we talk every day, and no it's not me always talking to him. He talked to me today to tell me that one of his profs used Doctor Who to illustrate every point in the lecture. I love that he's making the effort to be friends. I love that it's working. And I love that our friends see that and continue to talk to each other. Lena and Court tell me when they see him and that they say hi every time. I became friends with Caroline and I say hi to Sarah and Kevin and Alex whenever I get the chance. Ian too, but I only saw him once and I think he was overly nice to me because he feels sorry for me.

We don't get to hang out yet, which is probably best because I want to make sure any and all residual feelings are gone or else that can lead to trouble. Also, we're both crazy busy and probably shouldn't be bending over backwards to see each other. But I'm positive that that's going to happen too, and it's going to be just as satisfying and wonderful.

So I will say again - I love this boy. I'm so incredibly happy he's in my life and that we've broken through the awkwardness and that we can be friends and be happy about it. It will take some time before I'd be ok with seeing him with another girl, but I think it's about as much time as it would take for me to find another boy. Eventually I hope I can even give him chick advice. "You go buy that girl flowers when she's sick because you never bought me flowers and I was thoroughly disappointed!!"

That's all I have to say.
Nobody raise an eyebrow at me.

Remember me?
I've been living at the library all weekend. Literally all weekend. I made friends with one of Nik's friends who is in history. Her name is Caroline and she super cool. I've actually wanted to be friends with her since first year but I never really had a reason to go up and say hi, but it was so easy to be her friend that I should have just said in first year "hi, I see you around a lot. I'm Nikita, who are you?" Oh well. Nik said he's glad that the two of us are friends. And Caroline said that Nik and I are still friends. So everyone's glad that everyone is friends.

Back to living at the library. Saturday night, Caroline and I were there until 1AM studying for the Imperial Russia midterm. There until about 10PM on Sunday. Midterm was yesterday, I think I did adequately. lol Caroline confused Alexander Pushkin with Emilian Pugachev, so she wrote that this Romantic poet was actually a Cossock impostor of Peter III trying to steal the Russian throne.

However, I've got a bit of time on my hands to prepare for my next bout of a ton of work. lol Hurray. For some reason I require a ton of sleep. I woke up at like 11 the past couple days.

I want to go back to bed. But it's nearly 1:00 and I have class at 2:30.

Every time I sneeze, I worry that it's swine flu.

Okay so there was this girl in first year who lived on West and was in a lot of my classes and she seemed really cool but I had no premise to start talking to her and to become her friend. She continued to be in my classes in 2nd year, and this summer Nik and I ran into her on the street and it turns out they are friends, so we got introduced (which was pointless because I already knew her name because I am a CREEP).

Anyway, she invited me for a study session on Sunday for our midterm on Monday. I am creeping her facebook photos (as I do with everyone on my friends list) and she may be one of the most adorable people I've ever seen. Bahahaha I'm such a fucking creep.

What the fuck are these tracker things you keep infecting me with? I've run a virus scan every day for the past like 3 or 4 days because you keep giving me shit to deal with. Why would a random LJ page go to a different page without me clicking on anything? Why is it only ever LJ and no other websites?

Get your shit together. If you give me a virus I'm going to fucking murder you.
Yes, you.
The website.

I'm using that phrase in my paper.
I'm not kidding.

I'm making good points in my paper, it's just hard to do it all at once. I get distracted. lol

The start to the Oxfam Day event was kind of a disaster. The person for the first shift didn't show up, and we didn't get a standing board like we wanted, but whatever, we dealth with it. Also, my committee is like the least enthusiastic group of people ever. I wish I didn't get moved from the Make Trade Fair project. They have 20ish committee members and they're all so excited about stuff. =/ For All is lame.

Anyway, after my committee showed up for their shift, I left. I tripped on the sidewalk and someone behind me said "watch your step!" I turned around and it was Nik. I haven't actually seen him since we broke up. It was fine though, I offered a bite of my cookie and told him to check out Oxfam Day stuff. There was no awkwardness, but the crazy girl inside me wished I could have looked better so he could be like "fuck why did I break up with that?" I don't even want him back. lol

Time to own this Victorian Lit paper.

why am i even awake?